vision quest, punishment, and burning desire

I’m on a conscious mission to rid all my remaining masculinity from my subconscious, and I’m constantly looking for tools to help me do it. — From my post “corset training

Smoking weed puts me in touch with my base sexuality like nothing else, and femininity consumes my base sexuality. And my base sexuality demands complete femininity.

So should I follow Timothy Leary’s approach and smoke pot to engineer my subconscious?

If so, how would I do it? Marijuana delivers two major challenges: Inaction and likely distortion of the memory-forming process. So I’d need a robust plan for successfully enacting an “engineering” activity while high. Then it might be a crap-shoot regarding what I retain.

We are not talking about surgical precision here.

Timothy Leary preferred LSD anyway. I’ve taken it once, and remember the key life lessons learned from the trip (even after over 20 years). Perhaps a vision quest now that I’m a woman is the ticket?

I’m likely going to pass on the LSD approach for two reasons: First, I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize my forthcoming gender-affirmation surgery and its long term success. Second, it probably won’t help my struggles with bipolar disorder.

I’ll also pass on using marijuana as a tool for engineering my subconscious. There are just too many variables for a controlled process.

I don’t think behavior modification as a psychological practice survived long in psychology after B. F. Skinner. The exceptions I’ve seen are the highly related cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

CBT and DBT work by developing conscious skills for managing subconscious responses to stimuli. This is simply training and practice.

This points to the core: I think the only behavioral modification strategy that really works is training and practice.

In sissy games, the dominant partner often employs punishment in attempt to drive out masculine behavior and masculine thinking. I suspect this ultimately fails, as it probably just breeds resentment and frustration—even if the person being subjugated “wants” it. And there really is no incentive for the sissy to change if both partners “like” the punishment cycle.

This points to an even deeper core: I think the only behavioral modification strategy that really works is burning internal desire for change.

Sunday dresses
working out my concept of “lady” (part 2: my revolutionary demand)

Post Author: Emily

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