a smelly cunt and a mission from God

Yesterday I received a firm reminder of why I write this blog, and why I write the songs I do:

The message came from Drew Arriola-Sands, the fabulous singer of Trap Girl. But that is beside the point. The important thing is how she referred to me in the birthday greeting.

“Smelly Cunt” is a song I wrote about MtF transgender issues that I’ve promoted among the trans community. Drew knows my work through that promotion effort and knows the song. She knows about my efforts to bring together southern California transgender/non-binary musicians for mutual support (although she is doing a much better job of that than me as the founder of Transgress Fest).

But it’s funny that she identified me by the song. I now may never move beyond that in the punk community! Here is the tune, from my debut album “City of God”:

The lyrics respond to the declaration by some feminists that transgender women are not “real” women because we never have experienced the discomfort of a smelly vagina. I assert that we experience the same oppression under the patriarchy that cisgender women do—rape, unequal pay, etc; and therefore are in essence real woman.

But being the punk-ass I am, I use the rudest possible lyrics to express my anger and my point.

But I’m on a mission here: My music and my prose seeks to uplift our community and explore the transgender experience, at least my slice of it. Please see my post “this is transgender music”, and my introduction to this blog “about this blog and my forthcoming book” for more details of this effort.

Moreover, I see this activity as a mission from God. Last March I took a week off from work, and expressed big plans to start writing music booking software; intending to change that industry. Then I promptly injured my foot and found myself painfully bedridden for a day. While laying there bored the thought of writing this blog/book entered my mind and consumed me—as if the Universe knocked me off my feet to get my attention—to redirect my focus. Next day I started the blog and the physical pain immediately went away.

At a later date I drafted “prophet with a lowercase ‘p’”, where I outline my philosophy that activists like Gandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. express a far more prophetic role than, for example, the ancient patriarchs of the Old Testament. I argue that anyone who works for the liberation and advancement of a community lives a similarly prophetic experience.

But yesterday I found myself generally discouraged. I’m unemployed, and an employer just turned me down (after a lengthy initial interview) simply for my lack of a PhD., despite the fact that I’m beyond qualified for the job and no legal requirement mandated I hold one for the position. So Drew’s blunt birthday greeting cheered me up—reminding me what I’m really doing with my life—reminding me of my mission.

Postscript

I’m performing “Smelly Cunt” on the first night of Transgress Fest 2017 next month, along with my transgender anthem “Stand”. If you are in Southern California, please come to the show!

enjoying a man’s patronization
perhaps my stage presence is too masculine… (part 2)

Post Author: Emily

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