declaring myself an arbiter of proper ladylike behavior

Today I officially declared myself an arbiter of proper ladylike behavior. Issued the announcement via Twitter and Facebook: Obviously I’m not a perfect lady myself, having immediately mocked the whole concept by using foul language in the second sentence of the announcement tweet. But this speaks to a fundamental issue: A proper lady will not […]

I figured out this whole “ladylike” thing today

“A ‘lady’ is a woman who, through her mere presence, simultaneously commands power while setting others at ease.” – Emily Marie Williams I achieved public womanhood on 14 July 2015 when I declared myself a woman before a judge and started living full-time as one. But as discussed several times on this blog, I work […]

ten ways to deliver class (part #1)

“Class” strategically combines humility with knowing you stand a cut above the masses. And now we begin writing about class. “Class” is: Knowing when to lead and performing it gracefully. Knowing when to follow and performing it gracefully. Returning your shopping cart to the requested place. Realizing the full humanity in those who serve you […]

go to a damn tailor!

Let’s face it, transgender women often experience a difficult time finding clothes that fit perfectly. (But then, doesn’t every woman?!?). For example, my particular problems are: I usually need plus-sized blouses to enable fit around my chest and shoulders, but then the blouses generally appear unflatteringly wide around my waist. While I usually buy dresses […]

big time

I’ve noticed that the Universe consistently validates my femininity, and (it feels like) little else right now. Best to run with what’s going well… Update 13 November 2017 What this is about:  The femininity expressed up to the point of my public transition was instinctive. Now I am learning the strategic and the tactical expressions, […]

taking abuse for not being “ladylike” enough

I expect that many women receive abuse from their loved ones for not being “feminine” enough, by which these loved ones mean not being “ladylike” enough. I received such abuse for the first time in my life last night, from a mentor and dear friend. He is a keen observer of woman and generally a […]

poise, leadership, and mindfulness

I think a lot about poise: How to cultivate it, how to maintain it, what it means. I also think (and write) much about leadership. Concluded that the two overlap substantially. Further concluded that mindfulness forms the glue that holds them together. Please permit me to elaborate: Recently I developed my own description of poise […]