why I didn’t suicide this morning

I’m publishing this strategy because maybe it will help someone else survive in the future: I feel an intense psychiatric compulsion to suicide every time I experience romantic heartbreak. It’s simply part of my bipolar disorder (which I improve management of everyday). Usually I’m well adept at handling these situations and moving quickly out of […]

my obsession (part 1: introduction)

My primary obsession and my number one suicide prevention technique relate to each other. First the suicide prevention technique: I maximize my femininity and feminine expression. Do not know why this works, because the most frequent driver of suicidal ideation for me has nothing to do with gender dysphoria (it’s heartbreak). But emphasizing femininity really […]

a perceived bluff and an honorable suicide

I am not a rational person, and this is not a rational story. It started three weeks ago. The inflection points nearly killed me. Some background: I’ve romantically loved a woman whom I’ve called “Carol” on this blog consistently for the last two years. She rejected my advance and cut me out of her life […]

publishing a cry for relief

Here is a letter I wrote about four weeks ago. I’m publishing it now because these stories must be made public for the world to become a better place: ———–, I’m sorry but I’m extremely suicidal and need (and wholeheartedly trust) your intervention. You know I’m no drama queen, you know I struggle with mental […]