I’ve recently come to suspect I’m a love addict (this is a real clinical thing), but I’m withholding judgment until I get an opinion from a professional counselor or two. But there are definite problems with how I love, and I feel like shit right now because those problems are currently blowing up in my face.
I’m going to deconstruct what is going on and why I suspect I’m a love addict in a later post.
For now, here is an act of resistance to the despair: I’m going to document what is good and right and wholesome about how I love romantically, because the good stuff exists in strong measure and needs to be considered while evaluating the problematic forms of love in my life:
I know the difference between being “in love with someone” and “loving someone”. The former is a mental state and the latter is a verb. Real love is a verb—it is something you do.
I know the difference between love and infatuation.
I’m courageous enough to say, “I love you”. For both the “in love” and “doing love” form of the meaning.
I’m courageous enough to make a commitment and work positively through conflict.
Spiritual stuff: 1. When I’m in love I ask God to take care of the other person. 2. More significantly, when I’m in love I ask God to allow me to be a conduit of God’s love for that person.
I’m an extreme visionary about the possibilities when I experience love for another person. Both good and bad is that I stick to my vision.
I think my love matters. I think it is valid. I think it is reasonable. I think it has a place in the world. I think it makes the world a better place.