a warrior’s simultaneous relief and disappointment

In yesterday’s post, I described plans to clean a friend’s house for him today. See that post for an explanation.

His place was a mess yesterday.

When I showed up today, his place was clean. He said he couldn’t go through with having me clean it. We instead discussed strategies for branding my music in great detail. He also taught me the proper way to serve red wine to a friend or lover.

I felt both relief and disappointment.

This man sees me as a cut far above most of humanity. Calls me a “genius”. Calls me a “warrior”. I don’t think he could visualize me in a homemaker’s role.

But he absolutely visualizes me as a woman coming into her own. So this incident decoupled my strengthening feminine identity from patriarchal expectations of women, which is important when you consider the concepts I’ve been wrestling with in this blog (see “double agent for the patriarchy” and “I’d rather be a homemaker“).

But I’m proud of the fact that I came to his house ready to clean it.

the trick to walking in heels...
my expectation of any partner I support as a homemaker and/or as a submissive woman

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