on the ethics of loving someone when you are about to transition publicly

So in my last post and in “martyr”, I mentioned “Carol”, who I hold deep feelings for. I fell in love with her approximately two years ago, about three months before my public transition.

When I love somebody romantically, I usually tell them straight away. With Carol, I waited until several months after my transition.

The ethics-based reason was that if I told her I loved her before I told her I was transitioning, and we started dating, it would be unfair to spring my transition on her a few months later. Carol is an open-minded woman, but that is a large pill to swallow.

The other reason I waited is that if she liked me, I might have chickened-out on my public transition, which needed to happen. I wanted to ensure the transition occurred.

when dating, I hold men to higher standards than women
the one person whom I will permit to call me “he”

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