In my recent post “martyr” I introduced “Carol” (not her real name) who I fell in love with a few months before my public transition. Unfortunately, she will have nothing to do with me.
The funny thing is, Carol is the only person in the world I will allow to call me “he” and by my original name if she ever wanted to. Not my parents, not my siblings. Not anybody I’ve felt romantic love for since.
I can’t explain this to myself or anybody else.