why we still need cyberpunk

William Gibson penned Neuromancer over thirty years ago, and the 1990’s ended viciously on 9/11. With the exception of cyberfeminism, I wrote off “cyberpunk” as an ethic once we as a society stopped saying “cyber” and replaced the word with “online”.

Yesterday I traced partial assets of an individual I distrusted—and needed the straight dope from—from my laptop. Dating while transgender proves dangerous and a girl must protect herself!

In between I persistently beleaguered Microsoft as a career-long Linux hacker.

Once declared squatter’s rights on a piece of land I identified though data mining.

I walk with the Big Data devils to broadcast my signal, a means to an end. Twitter, Google, Amazon, and Facebook receive my data, and in exchange they amplify my cultural imperative.

And they know where the real value in data lies: Not in the records themselves but in the interconnections between them.

Emergent properties steered by unholy gods.

“Cyber”: Greek for “to steer”.

Steering a boat requires connecting the data: Position, velocity, acceleration, time. State variables alone won’t suffice.

When we get burned by Cambridge Analytica or the Russian Federation, we realize our individual technological vulnerability.

Propaganda is hacking: Implant bias, implant ideas, grow emergent outcomes. Seduction is a system intrusion.

Technological warfare and psychological warfare forever link.

Class war must proceed asymmetrically.

I only trust the Prophets, not the Church, not the State, not the Oligarchs.

And we can be prophets in cyberspace. We can create technology that liberates the world.

We can steer toward our own emergent outcomes.

We can end material scarcity.

Love forward. Program. Network. Build enterprise. Produce art. Write. Love forward.

Jam the system, and prepare to be jammed by the punks that follow you.

The 1990’s are dust, but the “system” still remains cybernetic control. Therefore resistance remains cyberpunk.

spinning masculinity into a seduction tool

Last night at my favorite bar I found myself flirting with two stunning women. Delivered bold masculine technique punctuated by proud feminine presence. I stood out hot and I knew it. Through my maneuvering I made it extremely clear which side of the tracks I walked on that night.

A man in their party saw this behavior and quickly complimented me on my dress. I thanked him genuinely, smiled, and then immediately returned my attention to the ladies that enraptured me.

Later I started thinking about what motivated the man’s compliment. While I really don’t know, here I’ll brainstorm through a feminist lens:

  • He could have genuinely liked the dress. Nothing to deconstruct there.
  • He could have genuinely wanted to flirt with me. Again, nothing to deconstruct there.
  • He wanted to remind the women whom I was so obviously putting the moves on that I was a woman.
    • And this is where things get interesting…
      • Was he jealous—afraid they’d take interest in me over him?
      • Was he jealous—wanted my attention but wasn’t getting it?
      • Some combination of the last two?
      • Or was it more fundamental?
        • He subconsciously intended to assert the heterocentric social order?
        • He subconsciously intended to assert the patriarchal social order?

I’m certain my use of masculine flirtation technique combined with my confident feminine poise knocked everyone involved off guard. I planned this juxtaposition while arranging my tactic prior to engaging.

From the point of view of my transgender journey, this experience demonstrates how I completely operate from a feminine foundation now. I started as, and remained, feminine throughout the whole encounter, only employing masculinity as a tool for seduction.

power and the art of seduction

In my last post, “power and sexual technique”, I urged women to gain leverage in their romantic relationships by increasing their skill in bed. More importantly, I developed this idea as a strategy transgender women may employ to decrease their overall marginalization—to help close the power differential that exists when straight men sexualize us for our unique bodies.

So far so good. But as a charismatic person (and natural propagandist) I know that the real establishment of a relationship’s or sexual encounter’s power distribution occurs at the encounter’s initiation—at the point of seduction—not in bed. One skilled at seduction, even if they lean submissive within the overall dynamic, owns the situation.

I frankly enjoy seducing my way into an encounter, thereby controlling the situation initially, and then joyfully sharing this power as the night unfolds. I might even completely surrender this power depending on the lover.

So a skilled seductress wields a mainline to authority and control.

I therefore, in a manner similar to my last post, encourage women and particularly transgender women to learn the art of seduction. My intent is not manipulation, but enhancement of mutual joy and an attenuation of the patriarchy’s power. I want us to diminish our marginalization by grabbing men by their psychosexual balls.

I realize that now I need to set an example. Problem is, I don’t particular think I’m good at seduction. To remedy that I’m committing to a thorough study of the art, starting with Robert Greene’s classic “The Art of Seduction”:

Need some inspiration? I started with a video featuring the fabulous Dita Von Teese where she irresistibly (yes, I’m bisexual) explains basic technique and attitude (below). However, I consider her words just the tip of the iceberg…

…I want the ability to start wars with my seduction (a la Troy), not merely get a date! I want to force Odysseus to break the ropes binding him.

And now, Dita Von Teese:

power and sexual technique

Competence proves extremely sexy.

My firm desire (pun intended) is that all women, particularly transgender women, take complete ownership over their presence and their bodies. Presence emits power. Ownership delivers power. Here I refer to “power” in a feminine network sense, enabling women full constructive influence within the relationships they build and expand. These relationships may include friendships, business connections, or romantic partnerships.

In the case of romantic connections, whether short or longterm, sexual competency wins constructive leverage. I therefore encourage all women, and again, particularly transgender women, to study sexual technique. To set an example, I’ve embarked on the reading list given below.

Why do I focus on transgender women in particular? Because we often regard ourselves as “inferior” women and I wish that to cease immediately. Furthermore, we are often sexualized for being transgender rather than treated like human partners. That probably won’t cease but can be manipulated. My opinion is that developing skill in bed resists the former mindset, and shifts control toward transwomen in the latter situation.

Regarding the latter: Instead of thinking of myself as objectified for being trans, I think of myself as having cornered a market. This economic viewpoint empowers. I can set my base price (expectation of a partner) based on scarcity. I can then increase my price (expectation of a partner) by enhancing my sexual technique.

Become a world-class lover. Own yourself. Own your power.

My reading list:

Here is the most famous one, but you should know that sexual technique is only a small part of it. Wikipedia explains this well:

Contrary to western popular perception, the Kama Sutra is not exclusively a sex manual; it presents itself as a guide to a virtuous and gracious living that discusses the nature of love, family life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life.

Finally, we must learn to seduce, a skill separate from competency in bed:

tracking my gender transition through computational linguistics and machine learning

I wrote 299 blog posts in the last decade, roughly half on badassdatascience.com and half on genderpunk360.com. Produced most of the Badass Data Science content while publicly expressing as a man, and most of the Gender Punk 360 content as a woman. Some articles appear on both blogs—for example this one—and in the analysis described below I account for such duplication.

My speech therapist observed that I successfully employ feminine language in my recent video “radical forgiveness”. This led me to thinking: Has the language I use in my prose evolved as I blossomed into femininity? I detail my attempt to answer this question using mathematical analysis below.

Two Caveats

I make two major assumptions in this analysis, assumptions I will address in future work:

First, I assume my writing skill remained constant throughout the last ten years. Not a great assumption in the long haul but necessary to simplify the math for this “back of the envelope” analysis.

Second, the two blogs cover different subjects, and the first one even contains source code on occasion. This may distort the clustering process described below. Again, ignoring this concern proves acceptable for this “quick-and-dirty” calculation to enable exploration of the problem domain.



Method

I download each of my blog posts and then calculated the part of speech (POS) for each word in the post. After that I computed the frequency distribution of the POSs. I then performed hierarchical clustering using a similarity matrix defined by the dot product of each pair of posts’ POS use frequency distribution vectors. The resulting dendrogram looks like:

I recommend downloading the image to view it at full size.

Each vertical line represents a blog post, and the trees linking the vertical lines indicate the degree of similarity between any two blog posts. For example, in the above image, the cyan and magenta colored posts prove similar but the green and black posts diverge significantly in terms of their POS use frequency distributions. The asterisks indicate posts created after I started expressing publicly as a woman full-time. The colors divide the tree into sections that group similar blog posts. Please note that I chose the grouping threshold manually (but rationally).

Results

By visually inspecting the density of these asterisks for the different color groups we derive an indication of how “feminine” or how “masculine” we might regard each group of blog posts. For example, we see sparse femininity in the green, yellow, and black groups; while we see enriched femininity in the cyan and purple group. The algorithm clearly found little distinction between the posts within the large red group, but even there we visually recognize sections of diminished femininity and sections of enhanced femininity.

So a linguistical difference between my pre- and post-transition writing appears to exist. But is it real? Can we conclude that my prose grew more feminine after my public transition? Not so fast! We must build a model that includes time as a variable to cancel out possible influence of improvement in my writing skill, and then test that model for significance. I’ll save this work for a later date.

Grrl on Grrl Podcast interviewed me!

Today my interview with Grrl on Grrl Podcast came out!  We discuss, among other things,

  • The science of gender identity
  • The music of Axis Evil
  • “Ladylike” behavior as a source of personal empowerment
  • Cultural appropriation
  • Psychosexuality
  • Model minorities

Big thanks to June Owatari of Grrl on Grrl Podcast for working so hard to put this together! The music presented during the interviews may be downloaded here.

 

make an intent board

Optimism is a skill.

A simple exercise that strengthens your focus and direction involves creating an “intent board”, also called a “dream board” or a “vision board”. These serve me well in life!

Basically, you make a poster, or in my case a Pinterest board, called “Intent” and fill it with images that speak to your goals, values, and dreams. Then you review it every day for inspiration! The images you select may include photos, clippings from magazines, drawings, or anything else you can imagine.

For example, my intent board (below) shows everything from vaginas to fiber optic dresses to cyberfeminist propaganda to geodesic domes.

What you believe and what you focus on creates your reality. (I won’t back this statement up with psychological or spiritual arguments today, just run with me here…). Intent boards clarify goal-oriented beliefs, convincing you of possibilities. They help focus you.

While I don’t expect to—or want to because it would be too much to healthily manage—gain everything I put on my intent board, it helps to review the full scope of what I like as I work to target my actions. An intent board not only helps you enact conscious goal-seeking activities, but it teaches and pilots your subconscious such that you diminish the likelihood of sabotaging yourself in the process.

If you create your intent board using poster paper, I recommend updating it at least yearly as your values and goals evolve. Pinterest provides the advantage of unlimited space and an easy way to search for images. If you use Pinterest, I recommend altering the descriptions of any pins you add to describe your intent, rather than keep the expressed intent of the original image source. In other words, make the image “yours”. (Note that some Pinterest pins do not seem to let you alter the description).

And remember there exists no wrong or right way to do this!

Setting An Example

To demonstrate, feel free to check out my personal intent board below. You’ll identify many concepts (e.g. spirituality and music) expressed among the images that I touch upon with this blog. (Only a portion is shown below; click here to see the full board):

radical forgiveness

(A text version of this video is available here).

Forgiveness is radical in and of itself, and I encourage each of you to promote the revolution that it demands. Moreover, I encourage each of you to take forgiveness to radical levels, in other words, to practice a doctrine of “radical forgiveness”.

The following video introduces the concept, and then discusses the rationale, the joys, and the challenges of radical forgiveness’ practice:

Aside

This video also demonstrates my significant progress to date toward developing a feminine voice and feminine body language. Much work remains on these fronts, but I’m proud of what this video portrays!

Closing Remarks

I sincerely hope you find the concept and practice of radical forgiveness useful in your own life! Please let me know how it goes, or send comments and questions, by commenting on this post or through Twitter or Facebook. I look forward to hearing from you!

See Also

how to validate someone who won’t talk with you

on love

the currency of love

the pedagogy of love

radical forgiveness (text version)

(A video version of this post may be found here).

Forgiveness proves radical in and of itself, and I encourage each of you to promote the revolution that it demands. Moreover, I encourage each of you to take forgiveness to radical levels, in other words, to practice a doctrine of “radical forgiveness”.

We all get hurt. Doesn’t matter if an offense is personal, such as someone berating you for a mistake, or institutional, such as experiencing a subtle, unconscious bias from a coworker that hinders you in the workforce due to your gender or sex.

Radical forgiveness combines several key actions: You must understand why forgiveness proves valuable, make the choice to forgive a person or institution, understand the process and pitfalls of forgiveness, continually repeat your choice to forgive that person or institution as necessary, and if possible communicate your forgiveness to the person or institution that harmed you. Moreover, you must treat forgiveness as a skill that requires practice and commitment to excel at. Finally, you must remember that humility must stand at the core of all these actions to succeed.

One might casually call one or two of these items alone “forgiveness”, but by employing the term “radical forgiveness” I assert a more comprehensive and effective mode of dealing with offenses than the mere casualty of the word “forgiveness” implies. We speak here of something more substantial than a flippant “I forgive you” or “I can’t stay mad at you”. Rather, we refer to a context of forgiving significant pain, like divorce pain or business-partner-screws-you pain.



So why forgive in the first place? Primarily, the process heals you, and enhances the chances of healing the other party and a relationship. Forgiving helps you “let go”, to use a colloquial phrase. You surrender, sort of. Basically you acknowledge the pain, and declare that it will no longer impact your relationship with the other party. You declare that it will no longer weigh you down. The act of forgiving claims power over emotional angst. Not complete power, but it provides significant relief. Note that by forgiving you still recognize guilt, and you still must take steps to remedy the problem. Forgiving merely leaps far beyond forcing the other party to remain mired in that guilt.

Moreover, your particular deity might demand that you practice forgiveness. We won’t name names.

One must make an actual “choice” to forgive, as forgiveness starts with a choice. And one must often continually repeat that choice for a given hurt, since anger and pain well up so easily. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, clinicians talk about “turning the mind”. That is, injecting your presence into a runaway thought to turn your think toward more productive thoughts. Similarly, when a hurt wells up inside you that you have already delivered forgiveness for, “turn the mind” away back toward a spirit of forgiveness. Again and again and again. I guarantee you that this process heals.

And that’s just it, remember that radical forgiveness serves as a process, not just a destination. You wrestle with it along the way. You start out unhappy and end with greater peace, but don’t expect an easy ride. For instance, you might have to objectively face your role in a situation, to determine how actions you took that may have put fuel on the fire. Unpleasant, I know. For encouragement, just remember that this process enriches your spirit.

One can liken the process of committing and recommitting to forgiveness to the experience of the mythical Sisyphus as described by the post-war philosopher Camus. The gods condemned Sisyphus to an eternity of pushing a large boulder up a hill by day, only to watch it crash back down the hill every night. Sounds meaningless, right? But Camus declared that Sisyphus found existential meaning in the task itself. Similarly, I claim that you will find meaning in the radical forgiveness process despite its often two steps forward, one step back nature.

The sweetest spot in the process of forgiveness is letting the other party know about your decision, because it generates the most opportunity for reconciliation. But understand that sometimes one cannot do this due to safety or other considerations—use your brain here before you act! And know that the other party may simply not be able to receive your words, may not even find themselves in a place to comprehend them. This hurts, but don’t let it derail your journey to peace over a matter.

Basically, don’t think of this action as “offering” forgiveness. Think of it as “transmitting” forgiveness. Offers feel incomplete if not received, but a transmission projects whether anyone proves receptive or not. In other words, you will have done all you can, so don’t sweat over it.

Humility drives the process. Forgiveness serves as recognition that you yourself exhibit flaws, that you could easily make the same mistakes. It recognizes that you will perform actions in the future that will require forgiveness from others. To forgive effectively you must empathize with and love the imperfect humanity in the one you choose to forgive, which can only emit from empathizing with and loving the imperfect humanity in yourself.

The last point I want to make is that radical forgiveness is a skill, like tennis or playing a musical instrument. It takes practice and sometimes years to develop competency. But if you make a habit out of choosing to forgive, and nurture the habit as you go, I assure you the skill will blossom inside you! I recommend initiating the forgiveness process the instant someone hurts you, rather than wait until you are “ready” to forgive. This strengthens the habit and prepares you for rapid closure once you achieve that readiness. And this practice increases the chance of salvaging relationships due to its proactive nature.

I sincerely hope you find the concept and practice of radical forgiveness useful in your own life! Please let me know how it goes, or send comments and questions, by commenting on this post or through Twitter or Facebook. I look forward to hearing from you!

See Also

how to validate someone who won’t talk with you

on love

the currency of love

the pedagogy of love

at a wedding in Delhi

One of the most amazing experiences of my journey into womanhood occurred when I attended a wedding in Delhi.

The bride knew me before I transitioned, but immediately embraced my identity as Emily when I announced it. We quickly became extremely good friends, and I therefore eagerly attended her wedding when the time came. I was so happy for her that I even wrote a string quartet for the couple to celebrate their union:

The wedding rituals we performed during the two-day ceremony appeared more gendered to me than those of the American weddings I’ve attended. The women did many activities together with the bride, such as application of henna (see my hands on the photo below) and the anointing of saffron, while (presumably—I wasn’t there so I can’t confirm) the groom participated in activities with the men.

What stands out for me is that the women fully embraced me as one of their own, allowing me full participation in their rituals, knowing full well that I was biologically male. Result: An extremely happy moment in my life. Core validation!



After the anointing of saffron, still among women only, we danced to Bollywood songs for about half an hour. Felt very spontaneous.

Today I watched Kaouthar Darmoni’s TEDx talk “Dare to be feminine for guts sake!” (below). She begins by telling a story about growing up in Tunisia where women would gather together, away from men, and simply dance. She then describes how this practice traces back to Mesopotamia 4,000 years ago. Perhaps the dance ritual I participated at the Delhi wedding described above traces back that far; perhaps it inspired the Mesopotamians, or perhaps the Mesopotamians inspired it.

But I realized immediately upon starting this video that I participated in something ancient and profound.

on love

Thought it time to write an essay (of sorts) on the nature of love:

Here I specifically mean Romantic love, partnership love; not other kinds. I won’t throw Greek words at you to differentiate between the types of love as many writers do (e.g. C.S. Lewis), except I thought I’d decide to use the term “eros” at some point, but didn’t. I’m going to use the imprecise English word and we’ll make its meaning clear from deconstruction and context. We are talking about the love that drives madness and rock songs. We are also talking about the love that, when steered wisely, channels into successful marriages.

Why am I writing this? Not entirely sure. I’ve spent much of my non-child life in a state of unrequited love and, being rather introspective, have consequently thought about the subject a good deal. Moreover, I remained in an abusive relationship for 14 years (seven of which in marriage) and stayed primarily due to my choice to continue loving, rather than out of fear or insecurity. Naturally, I’ve thought deeply about that choice, both during those years and after the divorce.

Furthermore, roughly 2.5 years ago I publicly became a woman (I’m biologically male) and having been living and loving as such since then. Among the intelligentsia where gender is considered a social construction this matter may not seem to pertain much to a discussion of love, but I can now tell you from personal encounters that an individual’s experience of romantic love is shaped by patriarchy and heterosexism, no matter what that individual’s gender identity and sexual orientation.

I’ve also written seven love songs in the last two years. So take the intellectual out of me and I’ll still sing about the matter.

Two Basics

When I tell someone I love them for the first or second or tenth time, I really mean two things:

  • I love them.
  • I’m in love with them.

Note the difference: The second is a state of the brain caused by heightened dopamine receptor activity. It is transitory. It fades. This is why couples often complain about the “spark” disappearing in their relationships (if they don’t nurture the first item on the above list).

The first uses love as a verb. It is something you do. It is a choice you make. It is a gift that you give. But you have to commit and continually recommit to this verb form of romantic love to achieve benefit from it. And of course in this form of partnership love, unlike the dopamine receptor form, both parties share the benefit and pain, where as the psychological state of being “in love” is actually quite selfish—driven by the lover’s desire for benefit and, for lack of a better word, acquisition.

The verb form leans altruistic. Consider lyrics from my song “Waste”:

This hope seeks recognition, connection, resolution.
And its more about the love I wanted to give,
than that I wanted to receive

Admittedly the first line could apply to either form, but the second two lines clearly apply to a desire to give love. An activity. A decision. A verb. Not entirely altruistic though, because one hopes to receive the verb form of love just as much as they might desire to give it.

Madness and Estrogen

Here we return to a discussion of romantic love as elevated dopamine receptor activity. All feels well and good until the rejection or the breakup. Then one’s brain chemistry walks through the depths of Hell. In my case, due to bipolar disorder, I go just plain “mad”—engage in reckless behavior and become dangerously suicidal. This condition might last years over one incident of heartbreak. Not a good thing.

I’d even call it addictive. Idolatry.

Estrogen made this experience far worse for me soon after I started taking it. Before then I could channel my reckless behavior into socially acceptable activities. But I lost this ability (for a considerable period of time) once I started taking the hormone, as the hormone drove my emotions to far wider extremes than anything I’d ever experienced before.

Fortunately, I’ve now become accustomed to estrogen’s impact on my emotions, and now make better decisions.

What I’m trying to say though is:  We should never underestimate the damage long-term unrequited love can inflict on one’s spirit.

Back to the Good Stuff

And now back to discussing love as a verb:

When I love someone I do everything I can to ensure they know their intrinsic value. Not their value to me as a lover or potential lover, but their value in the universe, their value for simply being human. To be clear, I also express their value to me, especially when a rich friendship underlies whatever else we might create, but that is a secondary activity. Its their intrinsic value that matters, not my valuation. Another way of saying this: I’m fleeting—we must promote valuation in light of things eternal.

Currently, there are three women in my life I would take a bullet for. Two have been cruel to me (one extremely so)—and neither of these two will have anything to do with me. But I still actively love them (verb form) in the only ways I can, through radical forgiveness and continued prayer for their well-being. Furthermore I keep the door open to them at all times.

Authenticity and Self-Expression

Anyone who knows me knows that concern for authenticity in all things drives me. That explains why I present romantic love divided into the two distinct forms discussed above. Doing so enables clarity—allows me to demonstrate to a partner or potential partner exactly what they are getting when I say I love them. Authenticity resides in the understanding transmitted—my beloved realizes that I’ve thought deeply about the meaning of love and therefore am trustworthy with regard to that dangerous word.

Self-expression matters too. I can’t be anyone other than the stylish femme I project to the world. One has to live according to their soul to love successfully. Sure one can suppress themselves to pay for the short-term dopamine high, but to sustain the commitment of verb-form love throughout all the challenges it brings one must practice alignment (and continual realignment) with their core identity. In other words, the strength generated by a quality relationship flows both from the genuine within and from the genuine in the beloved.

This mandate plays out too for one’s treatment of their beloved: One commits to loving them for who they are, knowing they will evolve and, if nurtured, grow. While conflict comes inevitably and must be worked through faithfully, trying to fundamentally change one’s beloved is a fool’s errand. Besides, their spirit holds intrinsic value as it is and one can easily lose good love by neglecting that truth. The exception of course regards abusive situations, where change on both sides proves necessary. (Not just the abuser must change, the other party must learn not to participate in the dynamic).

Control

A lot of this comes down to control, and the choice to cede it to positive vulnerability. Note that we are not talking about ceding discernment here.

As my narrative above indicates, the dopamine high-driven form of romantic love often involves perilous loss of self-control. I frankly become a slave to my passions. Bitch owns my heart.

But the verb form of love retains control; the decision to give love, to support and promote a quality relationship, is exactly that: A decision. Good decisions only emit from a position of self-control.

And good, well-grounded decisions to love actively enable wholehearted surrender to positive vulnerability, the state where things really blossom in a relationship.

Patriarchy and Heterosexism

Now that I’m a woman, I feel a pressure to date men that I can’t put my finger on. I do like men, and occasionally engage in romantic behavior with them, but I don’t like the subtle nagging feeling that that is the way things are “supposed” to be.

I watched “Sex and the City, the Movie” last night, which I absolutely loved for the fashions presented. But the story made me feel inadequate for not being in a heterosexual relationship (or any relationship for that matter!). It made me feel that my excitement for highly expressive dresses and my bisexuality stand at odds, as if a stylish girl like me should be guy crazy and exclusively so. The movie also reinforced the patriarchal model that a woman’s path to economic prosperity is through a relationship with a man.

Now I’ve experienced a few nights of passion with men, and enjoyed them thoroughly, but these experiences lived out the most base of the dopamine-high form of romantic love. If pressed by social expectation to only commit to verb-form love with men, I leave out a whole segment of the population that I resonate highly with. This is intolerable. To give love one must stand free to give love.

To give love one must stand free to give love.

Heterosexism and the patriarchy constrain that requisite freedom.

Giving God the “Finger”

When unrequited love drove me to madness roughly 1.5 years ago, I wrote a song about giving God the “finger” to express my angst. No regrets! Here is the song, titled “Prayer (Say Nothing Again)”:

See Also

the currency of love

radical forgiveness (video)

the pedagogy of love

how to validate someone who won’t talk with you

draft lyrics: “Gutter Priestess”

Mystic in a concrete kingdom
Sensitive and ambitious
A live-wire and its conduit
Bold and powerless in transmission

Mystic in a concrete kingdom
We dwell in grandiosity
In this existential wasteland
We dwell in poverty

Light up your Joules per second
Eject your free energy
Spike that ball and give it to me

Priestess in the concrete patriarchy
in the gutter
in your mind and in your ego

Priestess at the concrete interface
at the resistance
at the critical nodes
We drive the New Girls’ Network

Ignite your Joules per second
Transmit your free energy
Spike that ball and give it to me

prophetess of Diesel and blistering entropy
reckless information and persistent decay
beacon of persuasion and persistent connection
spike that ball and give it to me
spike that ball and give it to me
spike that ball and give it to me

feminine Chakras

I’m a bit of a mystic, and draw my practices and insight from multiple mystical traditions. My experiences mostly relate to Christian mysticism, which is largely ignored in the West, but I get around: I’ve prayed in Hindu ceremonies, dropped LSD to vision quest, and experienced healing through Sufi faith-healing rituals; to name a few.

So I think often about “energy” in a spiritual context. Nothing measurable in Joules (I used to be a mechanical engineer)–we are talking about something transcendent. Good vibes, bad vibes. Adding an engineering equation to the discussion, we can talk about “power” as “energy flow per second”. In mystical terms we can say “power” is “energy flow”: Then we can speak of optimism as power source and pessimism as power sink. Depression as power blackhole.

A few writers and lecturers talk about feminine energy versus masculine energy. (We are ignoring the complication of the non-binary here). At first I did not know what to do with this information. I certainly noticed my spirituality become more feminine over the last three years. So much that when I was once denied entrance to a male-only section of a mosque I visited, I felt “right with the universe”. (I accidentally tried to enter the male-only section, would never do that on purpose).

A lecturer I really like stated that feminine energy emits from the womb-space [4]. I discovered her while searching for resources to help me increase my feminine presence and decrease my masculine one.

Then a friend of mine told me about Chakras from the tantric traditions. These are (mystical) energetic focal points of the body meant to be awakened and mastered [1], presumably through spiritual practice like some forms of yoga.

Combining these two ideas I considered the possible intersection of Chakra practice with developing feminine energy. Immediately turned to Google…

Indeed the Chakras themselves are divided into feminine and masculine ones. The first resource I found, [2], stated that the goal is to bring the masculine and feminine energy into alignment.

I’ll have no part of that! This girl will have nothing to do with a masculine psyche and spirit.

But [3] had something really great to say about the “lower three” Chakras, the “feminine” Chakras.

These are the first three rungs on the energetic ladder that lift us up to achieve loftier goals while giving us a stable base on which to stand.

I like this! A lot. Read this as a spiritual mandate to get my feminine energy in tune with the universe. Expect I’ll experience significantly better mental health if I do.

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra

2. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16169/5-ways-to-access-your-divine-feminine-through-your-sacral-chakra.html

3. https://www.lightworkersworld.com/2013/04/the-feminine-chakras-wellbeing-worthiness-and-weight/

4.