lace punk, satin punk, petticoat punk, oh my!

This article was first published on the fashion blog Mad Hot and Artsy on 20 November 2018. Special thanks to them for featuring my content!

To satirize my proud (and adopted) feminine modality, I developed a personal clothing style I call “lace punk”, “satin punk”, and/or “petticoat punk”. It carries steampunk, burlesque, and pin-up influences; and emphasizes poise, class, and elegance. In other words, I give the appearance of “high class”. This combination kills when combined with sound posture and a confident stride—my satire has since evolved into a robust display of raw power.

Key elements involve millinery, corsetry, lace or satin gloves, heels, and frequent appearance in gowns.

The “punk” in all this is me: Accomplished hacker. Cyberpunk. Skilled guitar shredder. Free-thinking anarchist. These outfits tweak guys’ expectations when I talk engineering circles around them—“geek chic” never celebrated femininity quite like this.

I perform under the stage name “Napalm Fatale”. Have released two albums freely available at https://napalmfatale.bandcamp.com. Wrote an important article called “This is Transgender Music” describing this work and my musical goals.

I founded the company Whole-Systems Enterprises, Inc. to pay the bills. Am extremely interested in applying artificial intelligence to the fashion industry.

new song: “3Jane”

Lyrics

Growing a new philosophy
is it grand design, or subtle folly?
The serpent was anything but…
…but this was an engineered forest,
its fruit a postmodern delight

Recording

Explanation

Wrote this sometime in the late 1990’s while working through my gender dysphoria (and identity and bipolar disorder in general) as a young adult. It is about humanity’s ability to hack everything, including our bodies. Changing one’s sex is a postmodern experience from a certain point of view, and it might be complete folly (but I don’t think so).

Artifact is nature.

I think starting my life as a man and becoming a woman at 39 was by God’s design. Don’t think any serpents are whispering in my ear.

Live Performance

thinking big (part #1)

Declaring I’m a “big thinker” understates it. I channel more creativity than a single human can ever bring to fruition, so I’m now going to simply start logging ideas on a somewhat weekly to monthly basis in case others want to take them on, or collaborate with me.

So, here are this week’s big ideas, many of which I received while driving between Carmel and San Simeon on California Highway 1:

Censorship-Resistant Microblogging

For two weeks I’ve been developing a blog post in my head about using Blockchain as a tool for censorship-resistant microblogging. The article will discuss a particular platform’s solution, not survey all possible options (which I’ll do later). It will take the form of a “how to” post.

Technology that Responds to Desertification

Climate change will likely promote heavy desertification. We have two angles to take regarding technological response:

First, we can develop technology that resists the desertification process itself. Think infrastructure and environmental engineering by nation-states. However, given that I do not expect nation-states to be able to respond functionally to rapid desertification, I offer the following alternative:

Second, develop high technology for single family, tribe, and/or homestead use. I’m thinking composting systems that capture water as it is off-gassed. I’m thinking distilling water from urine. Micro-desalination for folks living right against the coast. Massively effective composting reactions from food waste. Capturing and distilling sweat. Capture water from fuel cell use (if I remember correctly how fuel cells work).

That latter social layout risks invoking the “tragedy of the commons” with regard to well water. So we need water-efficient farming technology such as hydroponics and good social compacts.

Adverse Possession

I once claimed squatter’s rights (technically “adverse possession”) to a ten-acre piece of abandoned land. Applied data science to find the ideal property.

About to start the process again, and refine the method.

I’ll give special consideration to developing a strategy that supports the needs of RV boondockers.

Fuzzy Logic-Based Women’s Body Shape Calculator

I wrote a women’s body shape calculator, where one enters their measurements and receives a classification of their body shape into one of the classic style-guide shapes (e.g., “apple”, “rectangular”). My post “artificial intelligence in fashion (part two: a first step)” introduces this tool.

However, I am unhappy with the use of crisp computation by this tool and would rather replace it with fuzzy reasoning, to reflect differences in expert opinion about what makes what body shape what. Then users will receive more informative results. For example, instead of reporting that a user’s measurements indicate a strictly “rectangular” body shape, the fuzzy reasoning-based method could declare that the same use is 90% “rectangular” and 10% “hourglass”.

Blockchain

Blockchain matters. Learn it inside and out. Learn about the “internet of money”. Learn about “discretized valuation”. Program it. “Get” it.

Expand My Social Media Footprint

People generally like what I have to say online, and I believe it provides social value. So therefore I want to expand my reach. This is not so much for my “glory” as it is to promote diverse voices in media. My agenda is to “transmit” what is given to me.

So I will apply my full data scientist brain to this task and see what happens! Perhaps it starts with measurement?

Extract More Precise Signal from the Media Firehose

My friend Epochryphal challenged me to think of improved ways to capture, sort, and process online content as it emerges. I started them off by recommending an RSS reader but we agreed the problem requires a better solution. My next move involves checking out Feedly.

Practice Navigating Without a Smart Phone

I ran into a situation where I needed a road atlas due to lack of wireless service, but didn’t have one. Not good! Such an atlas might also prove important if one is running from the law and cannot have their cellular phone turned on (to avoid tracking).

Dead reckoning is a powerful skill. Nurture it.

Revisit Development of Technology for “Off-Grid” Living

A primal value of mine. Will discuss specifics in later posts.

LSD-25 and CRISPR/Cas9

Use CRISPR/Cas9 to engineer a fungus or a mold to safely produce clean LSD-25 on a table top.

Grow a Vagina in a Petri Dish from Stem Cells

I’m not happy with current male-to-female gender affirmation surgery technique. Let’s grow a vagina and clitoris from reprogrammed stem cells and then install it.

Grrl on Grrl Podcast interviewed me!

Today my interview with Grrl on Grrl Podcast came out!  We discuss, among other things,

  • The science of gender identity
  • The music of Axis Evil
  • “Ladylike” behavior as a source of personal empowerment
  • Cultural appropriation
  • Psychosexuality
  • Model minorities

Big thanks to June Owatari of Grrl on Grrl Podcast for working so hard to put this together! The music presented during the interviews may be downloaded here.

 

vocal frequency response

I now can speak consistently for an hour in a feminine voice—decent pitch, resonance, and inflection—before needing to rest. Moreover, my voice now passes on the phone.

So my voice therapist and I decided to tackle my singing range, to feminize that as well. (Followers of Axis Evil know I sing with a masculine voice despite functioning in all other parts of my life using a feminine one).

I needed data to see where I stand currently:

Starting at D3 (146.832 Hz), which lies in the gender-neutral pitch range, I recorded myself singing the words “I am Emily” up the scale in half-step intervals until D5 (587.330 Hz). (But I couldn’t make it that far in practice). I used a synthesizer to provide the pitch at each interval.

I then cut the synthesizer track and ran the vocal track through a frequency analysis algorithm to get a frequency response (Bode) plot:

As you can see from the plot, I can hold it up to about middle C, but can’t currently sustain volume beyond that.

Good baseline information.

vision quest, punishment, and burning desire

I’m on a conscious mission to rid all my remaining masculinity from my subconscious, and I’m constantly looking for tools to help me do it. — From my post “corset training

Smoking weed puts me in touch with my base sexuality like nothing else, and femininity consumes my base sexuality. And my base sexuality demands complete femininity.

So should I follow Timothy Leary’s approach and smoke pot to engineer my subconscious?

If so, how would I do it? Marijuana delivers two major challenges: Inaction and likely distortion of the memory-forming process. So I’d need a robust plan for successfully enacting an “engineering” activity while high. Then it might be a crap-shoot regarding what I retain.

We are not talking about surgical precision here.

Timothy Leary preferred LSD anyway. I’ve taken it once, and remember the key life lessons learned from the trip (even after over 20 years). Perhaps a vision quest now that I’m a woman is the ticket?

I’m likely going to pass on the LSD approach for two reasons: First, I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize my forthcoming gender-affirmation surgery and its long term success. Second, it probably won’t help my struggles with bipolar disorder.

I’ll also pass on using marijuana as a tool for engineering my subconscious. There are just too many variables for a controlled process.

I don’t think behavior modification as a psychological practice survived long in psychology after B. F. Skinner. The exceptions I’ve seen are the highly related cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

CBT and DBT work by developing conscious skills for managing subconscious responses to stimuli. This is simply training and practice.

This points to the core: I think the only behavioral modification strategy that really works is training and practice.

In sissy games, the dominant partner often employs punishment in attempt to drive out masculine behavior and masculine thinking. I suspect this ultimately fails, as it probably just breeds resentment and frustration—even if the person being subjugated “wants” it. And there really is no incentive for the sissy to change if both partners “like” the punishment cycle.

This points to an even deeper core: I think the only behavioral modification strategy that really works is burning internal desire for change.

on my frequent use of the word “hacker”

I use the terms “hacker” and “hacking” often, reclaiming and broadening the terms.

The term “hacker” has come to solely mean an individual that illegally breaks into computer networks. This was not the original meaning.

Originally, it meant a computer-savvy, creative individual. One who could make computers do cool things. One who can alter and mix technologies to suit their needs and desires.

This is the meaning I am leveraging. But I’m expanding it to include creative intervention in social dynamics, spirituality, fashion, etc. This requires technical savvy of a different sort.

The point is: I believe individuals can modify almost everything through cleverness. Engineering is a virtue.

I engineer my gender. I engineer my life. I am a hacker.