lace punk, satin punk, petticoat punk, oh my!

This article was first published on the fashion blog Mad Hot and Artsy on 20 November 2018. Special thanks to them for featuring my content!

To satirize my proud (and adopted) feminine modality, I developed a personal clothing style I call “lace punk”, “satin punk”, and/or “petticoat punk”. It carries steampunk, burlesque, and pin-up influences; and emphasizes poise, class, and elegance. In other words, I give the appearance of “high class”. This combination kills when combined with sound posture and a confident stride—my satire has since evolved into a robust display of raw power.

Key elements involve millinery, corsetry, lace or satin gloves, heels, and frequent appearance in gowns.

The “punk” in all this is me: Accomplished hacker. Cyberpunk. Skilled guitar shredder. Free-thinking anarchist. These outfits tweak guys’ expectations when I talk engineering circles around them—“geek chic” never celebrated femininity quite like this.

I perform under the stage name “Napalm Fatale”. Have released two albums freely available at https://napalmfatale.bandcamp.com. Wrote an important article called “This is Transgender Music” describing this work and my musical goals.

I founded the company Whole-Systems Enterprises, Inc. to pay the bills. Am extremely interested in applying artificial intelligence to the fashion industry.

lessons in sexual technique from a professional

This story is currently under review and revision to ensure use of respectful terminology and clear statement of goals:

“Become a world-class lover. Own yourself. Own your power.” – Emily Marie Williams

My research concerning quality sexual technique leads me interesting places, most of which I will not reveal.

On this website, I’ve previously discussed my agenda to strengthen and expand women’s sexual skill—to serve as a means for gaining social power—as a means of advancing feminism. (See my article “power and sexual technique” [1] for an explanation of this position).

Furthermore, while the current shortfall in the quality of intimate relationships greatly exceeds the realm of sexuality (i.e., most problems emit from abuse, poor mental health, unreasonable expectations, weak communication, and selfishness), it wouldn’t hurt if couples experienced better sexual play while they addressed these other matters.

To put my money where my mouth is, I’ve spent the last several months extending my sexual knowledge and technique. Until now most of that information has come from books, which proves a limited means of learning tactile skills. Certainly books provide information the brain needs to practice quality sex—as the brain is the most important sex organ—but at some point one needs to get hands-on training from an expert.

This article illustrates my recruitment of expert training, detailing a method readers can apply in their own lives:

I have a friend who works as the matron of a Mexican brothel. Not sure whether prostitution is legal in the rough-and-tumble northern border region of Mexico, or if it is merely tolerated. Nonetheless, I was staying at her house while enjoying the Baja sunshine and looking for a property to rent or buy.

(ASIDE: If you ever run into trouble anywhere in Mexico, the most well-connected person in town—i.e., the one that can help you the most—is the matron of the town’s brothel).

She introduced me to her friend who worked for many years as an international porn star, and who, after aging out of that profession, now turns tricks for a living. We carried on pleasant conversation for several hours.

I told her about my agenda (described above) for improving the lives of American women through improving their sex lives. I told her about my study of sexual technique.

Intrigued by the idea, she offered me a private lesson so that I can take new skills home with me to teach others.

I of course paid her the standard rate for her time, plus $50 to my friend for letting us use her bed.

But she did not merely fuck me.

Instead she spent three hours instructing me in great detail. I think it was fun for her—she appeared to enjoy sharing her professional knowledge—it was not just another trick with another client. (Besides, I’m a pleasant person to be around).

She taught me positions, tongue work, the best time to put the condom on, etc. We spent a lot of time on oral sex, with her demonstrating the best method on my hardware and coaching me as I returned the favor on her hardware.

Taking a cue from Tantric tradition, she taught me how to align my partner’s Chakras [see Reference #2] to prepare them for sexual pleasure. She taught me massage techniques.

She instructed me regarding etiquette.

As a whore, she taught me from a whore’s perspective: How to encourage shy men to touch, how to communicate with men, how to negotiate price with them. She gave examples of what some men like and what others don’t, and how to find out. The examples were pretty stark, reminding me clearly of her professional activity. For example she would tell me the differences between yesterday’s client and her scheduled client for tomorrow. She instructed me on how to deal with men’s differing erection stiffness abilities.

In other words, she taught me all the skills I need to become a successful whore.

Afterward, we spent the rest of the day together chatting like friends. I checked in on her comfort level with me several times, and I think her frequent answer of “si” was genuine. Further evidence for this came when she asked if she could share a bed with me that night—not for sex—not even for cuddling—just for sleeping. I of course did not touch her during the night, as we made no agreement permitting it, and she slept soundly to the best of my knowledge.

I’m just happy that, in addition to the skills I learned, that a woman who might otherwise be cynical about her clients genuinely enjoyed spending the day and night with me.

See Also

power and the art of seduction

References

  1. power and sexual technique
  2. feminine Chakras

I figured out this whole “ladylike” thing today

“A ‘lady’ is a woman who, through her mere presence, simultaneously commands power while setting others at ease.” – Emily Marie Williams

I achieved public womanhood on 14 July 2015 when I declared myself a woman before a judge and started living full-time as one. But as discussed several times on this blog, I work consistently to develop my personal concept of “lady” (a concept distinct from “woman”), and labor to assimilate this concept’s traits into my core being. (Check out the “See Also” section at the end of this post for links to my previous writings on the subject, which illustrate my progress through this exercise).

Today I experienced a breakthrough in this concept’s development, upon writing the following letter to my mom. I quoted the key innovation at the introduction to this post:

I have discovered that when I dress simultaneously classy, elegant, and ladylike; and move with casual grace while wearing heels, strangers take me more seriously. They step out of the way in stores. They open doors for me more frequently. They resolve conflicts with me more effectively.

Of course, it helps that I smile at and make eye contact with everyone I pass, and that I’m tall. And that I’m confident in my skin. Somehow I’ve discovered how to command power while simultaneously setting people at ease.

I think that last sentence is the essence of the “ladylike” concept I am striving to create for myself. I now have a vision that fits my feminist ethos and still matches my extremely gendered ideas about class.

Recently concluded that my days proceed more effectively, both in my mind and out in society, when I dress sharply.

Here is what I was wearing when I figured this out, what earned me the respect from strangers I received today that enabled me to put the pieces together:

See Also

power and sexual technique

Competence proves extremely sexy.

My firm desire (pun intended) is that all women, particularly transgender women, take complete ownership over their presence and their bodies. Presence emits power. Ownership delivers power. Here I refer to “power” in a feminine network sense, enabling women full constructive influence within the relationships they build and expand. These relationships may include friendships, business connections, or romantic partnerships.

In the case of romantic connections, whether short or longterm, sexual competency wins constructive leverage. I therefore encourage all women, and again, particularly transgender women, to study sexual technique. To set an example, I’ve embarked on the reading list given below.

Why do I focus on transgender women in particular? Because we often regard ourselves as “inferior” women and I wish that to cease immediately. Furthermore, we are often sexualized for being transgender rather than treated like human partners. That probably won’t cease but can be manipulated. My opinion is that developing skill in bed resists the former mindset, and shifts control toward transwomen in the latter situation.

Regarding the latter: Instead of thinking of myself as objectified for being trans, I think of myself as having cornered a market. This economic viewpoint empowers. I can set my base price (expectation of a partner) based on scarcity. I can then increase my price (expectation of a partner) by enhancing my sexual technique.

Become a world-class lover. Own yourself. Own your power.

My reading list:

Here is the most famous one, but you should know that sexual technique is only a small part of it. Wikipedia explains this well:

Contrary to western popular perception, the Kama Sutra is not exclusively a sex manual; it presents itself as a guide to a virtuous and gracious living that discusses the nature of love, family life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life.

Finally, we must learn to seduce, a skill separate from competency in bed:

draft lyrics: “Gutter Priestess”

Mystic in a concrete kingdom
Sensitive and ambitious
A live-wire and its conduit
Bold and powerless in transmission

Mystic in a concrete kingdom
We dwell in grandiosity
In this existential wasteland
We dwell in poverty

Light up your Joules per second
Eject your free energy
Spike that ball and give it to me

Priestess in the concrete patriarchy
in the gutter
in your mind and in your ego

Priestess at the concrete interface
at the resistance
at the critical nodes
We drive the New Girls’ Network

Ignite your Joules per second
Transmit your free energy
Spike that ball and give it to me

prophetess of Diesel and blistering entropy
reckless information and persistent decay
beacon of persuasion and persistent connection
spike that ball and give it to me
spike that ball and give it to me
spike that ball and give it to me

feminine Chakras

I’m a bit of a mystic, and draw my practices and insight from multiple mystical traditions. My experiences mostly relate to Christian mysticism, which is largely ignored in the West, but I get around: I’ve prayed in Hindu ceremonies, dropped LSD to vision quest, and experienced healing through Sufi faith-healing rituals; to name a few.

So I think often about “energy” in a spiritual context. Nothing measurable in Joules (I used to be a mechanical engineer)–we are talking about something transcendent. Good vibes, bad vibes. Adding an engineering equation to the discussion, we can talk about “power” as “energy flow per second”. In mystical terms we can say “power” is “energy flow”: Then we can speak of optimism as power source and pessimism as power sink. Depression as power blackhole.

A few writers and lecturers talk about feminine energy versus masculine energy. (We are ignoring the complication of the non-binary here). At first I did not know what to do with this information. I certainly noticed my spirituality become more feminine over the last three years. So much that when I was once denied entrance to a male-only section of a mosque I visited, I felt “right with the universe”. (I accidentally tried to enter the male-only section, would never do that on purpose).

A lecturer I really like stated that feminine energy emits from the womb-space [4]. I discovered her while searching for resources to help me increase my feminine presence and decrease my masculine one.

Then a friend of mine told me about Chakras from the tantric traditions. These are (mystical) energetic focal points of the body meant to be awakened and mastered [1], presumably through spiritual practice like some forms of yoga.

Combining these two ideas I considered the possible intersection of Chakra practice with developing feminine energy. Immediately turned to Google…

Indeed the Chakras themselves are divided into feminine and masculine ones. The first resource I found, [2], stated that the goal is to bring the masculine and feminine energy into alignment.

I’ll have no part of that! This girl will have nothing to do with a masculine psyche and spirit.

But [3] had something really great to say about the “lower three” Chakras, the “feminine” Chakras.

These are the first three rungs on the energetic ladder that lift us up to achieve loftier goals while giving us a stable base on which to stand.

I like this! A lot. Read this as a spiritual mandate to get my feminine energy in tune with the universe. Expect I’ll experience significantly better mental health if I do.

References

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra

2. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16169/5-ways-to-access-your-divine-feminine-through-your-sacral-chakra.html

3. https://www.lightworkersworld.com/2013/04/the-feminine-chakras-wellbeing-worthiness-and-weight/

4.